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Sometimes he would stay in her room with the door locked until the next morning, saying he just fell asleep if he was questioned by Lilian which never happened. When Marnies sleepover friends spent the night, he would get in the middle of the bed with the girls on either side under the covers and all night Pat would hear muffled high pitched squeals and what he said sounded like whimpering along with a steady thud sound that would last hours at a time and continue till early morning. Her room stank of a musky odor and her bed was always wet and stained. Lilian, because she was so fucked up, she did not or would not see what was happening. After he left, most of her boyfriends were of the same walks of street life, scum and lowlifes. They would get drunk and high on crystal meth or cocaine with mommy dearest, staying up all night parting. Sometimes Pat would find strange men, that Lilian said she just met, using her and her home as a white trash whore den. As Marnie learned how to. Is this the maternal instinct so unfairly torn from her all those years ago? She’s comforting me because I’m no longer capable of controlling myself or my emotions, and she doesn’t want to experience these moments through an impenetrable veil of tears. She’s given me everything but the future, yet she’s somehow still strong enough to give me this.He tried to steel himself, but there were piles of rubble around his heart that he knew would take more strength than he possessed to clear. I have to get hold of myself. The cost of her effort must be unimaginable, yet all I’m doing is taking. I have to summon the courage to do better ... if not for me, then for her. But where, other than her, can I possibly find that sort of courage?“I...” Good start.“Shhhh.” She kissed him for a very long time. Not to escalate, but to assure and affirm. “Finish packing. I’ll help.”“You knew?”“Of course I did.”“You can’t possibly...”“You’re right, I don’t. But I will. It’s something a woman does for the.
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